Up in smoke or a lack there of...

So I quite smoking like 7 days ago, and I'm still getting cravings every now and then....and now.... I didn't think i'd be able to do it at all. I figured I would smell smoke the frist day and just end up smoking agian without even trying. But I made a great effort and at day 7 there really isn't much reason to go back. I enjoyed the extra $10.25 in my pocket this week! I'm kinda hoping that I could last until I dont think about it anymore...

The weather was doing some weird shit today it was rainning and the sun was out and all sort of odd things. like this morning wasnt even that cold and then it got really cold. so odd..so very very odd. meh, global warming..

hmmm.. more later....I'm still in class...

We're fated to pretend

"I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life..."

This guy talked to me at school the other day and I said hey and gave him my number, which is a decision I instantly regreted. But I guess it's my fault. Now, york is big enough that if I didn't answer his calls anymore I doubt I would ever see him again and I would have to put very little to no effort in making that happen what so ever, but I'm thinking of just being honest. I hear all this talk about honesty being the key...key to what? I always seem to miss out on that part. I can tell you it's not the key to my pants. And I highly doubt if this guy had the key to my heart he could pull his pants up from around his knees long enough to figure out how to use it. I made another error in tell him I was going to be on campus on saturday, and he wants to meet up and grab something to eat. I've gathered the impression that he lives on campus which could bode really well for me as it probably means he's not from around these parts...

But I guess, in his defence, by giving him my number I did indicate interest... how ever fake it might have been. To be totally honest with you, I didn't even think he'd call. On a side note though...my question is this, is it bad to just pretend to be in to someone? When did pretending become a little less like house and more like life?


You Have to hear This...
Okay, so I don't usually get inbetween a person and their music; but I'm gonna give a 5 song run down every now and then and you really should listen...It will be a mix of songs I wont stay in just one genre but I do want to know what oyu think about them! Okay..so Here we go.

1. You Really Wake Up the Love In Me by: The Duke Spirit
The album is called "Neptune", they have this phycodelic rock feel to them that I really miss about music. They are an English rock band, they remind me of sonic youth or the pixies with Janice Joplin as the singer. I demand you Hear this song! It is here by all kinds of awsome, but you can tell me if you like it or not.

2. Medicine by: Starfucker
I don't actually know what album this is off of, if you know let me know. I actually think this is an older song, But no one know what the fuck i'm talking about when I talk about this song. It can best discribed as a little MGMT sounding with a dash of synth. I believe the word is awsome! ( I think I use that word to much!)

3. Heads Will Roll by: Yeah Yeah Yeahs
If you haven't already heard this song then you don't know anything. Do it now. I might just be kidding about that first part. Might be. Go listen to it!

4.Broken (Fairylights Remix) by:Late of the Pier
Sounds like a bit of Bloc Party and some sort of early electro dance thing...But it's good. Just listen...

5.Five More Minutes by:Meaghan Smith
It's from the album "Take me Dancing", this song is way different from the other songs but if you are one of those people like to listen to music when you sleep then this is the right song. It's really relaxing and it's nice to just listen to. Makes you feel calm and relaxed...

let me know what you think of these songs...maybe I will do this again lol...

Speaking of awkward....

So for anyone who has missed the last few months of my life (which is most of you) here is the quick rund down...in point form:

finished things with matt for good this time! there is no going back now!
met some new friends (guy friends)
started this strange non-relationship with one of the new guy friends
might actually like him...but for all the wrong reasons

and as sad as it may seem that's pretty much it.

So me and this guy, we will call him Dean just because I always like dean from Gilmore Girls...and yes i did like that show! anyway, Dean and I seem to have a really sexual relationship thing going on and neither of us are commited to each other but it's like this side action, where we can still hit on other people but we only sleep with each other (or so we say) for now. And when we dont want to do that anymore we give the heads up and go our seperate ways...

I 'like' him because he reminds me of Josh (for anyone who actually follows crazy rambles) my ex boyfriend and he also reminds me of Matt a little, But the good parts about matt not that grose talk and eat with your mouth open thing he does *shudder*... which isn't really a good thing for all the reasons i'm sure you could think of....

Now, I already see the flaw in this whole plan, and slowly this whole shit is unfurling. I dont think he likes me like that completely, but he likes to stair at me alot and i dont know why....and I really like him, kind of like the way I really like The yeah yeah yeah's.....I could listen to him speak all day long cuz he's funny, but I feel a little cheated by my own hand in this. I feel like i'm wasting my time with him but at the same time, I finally have my own time again to waste.
Even though I'm highly suspect that nothing will ever come of this....is it still okay to pretend?

where I went...

So where I have I been? I was having an awsome summer, And I know that I wanted you to be a part of it but here I am now, re grained my septermber footing and ready to take on something... anything...everything. This little baby is Sophia (pronounced: Sofeyeahh) and she's an absolute sweetheart, she turned one this year, she's my cousin. I love her to bits!

I spent most of the summer hanging out with some new people still with my very best friend Thuy, but we added a bunch of guys to our mix so now we have someone what of an entourage. It's odd to actually have so many people to hang out with, anyway, I'm out for now...there will be more later...

Photo dump

It's Summer...

It's good to be getting out these days. I'm feeling so rested! It's awsome! I have so many things I want to do this summer. So far I've been to two Patio's since they've open and I intend on being on more... I can't wait till fringe fest. If anyone is going and wants to see shows let me know! I will basically be living downtown toronto then, so you will have trouble finding me (Raymi I can bring you your shoes and other things I found that you might want lol)

more later...

Long time no see

I'm finally finished school, and now I can have my life back.
I thought I would never get out but I have and now here I am, ready for a big summer full of fun things. I haven't actuallydone anything that would constitue as "fun" but there are many a fun thing coming up. I have a party on staurday, it's my friends birthday, haven't seen her in so long...I still have her christmas gift?! lol

anyway, I guess I'm some what single this summer. I know i thought that me and Matt where talking but it's not going anywhere. I may just end up single for as long as I can keep my opinion. I am going to curl my hair because I feel like it... I will be going on an adventure at some point today, so I will have pictures!

later...

papers and blue hair

writing papers

My hair has blue highlights....well it's a little more then highlights. I will post some pictures. School has really been taking alot out of me these days that's why i've been gone so long. I'm also trying to clean out my closet...so, I'm think of having a clothing swap. there are some stuff that I have for Raymi, but if any one whats to have a clothing swap let me know and we can find a place and all that jazz...

anyway, I will post later this evening, but for now back to the grind stone...Ugh.

Happy easter people

So It's easter time in the Jordan house. And your friend Odette is going to be taking many a family dinner photo's. I'm not all that excited about family dinners. Mostly because I'm not a big fan of my family...they are all up in my space. But who knows.

Hope that everyone is having a great easter! and there will be more posts to come. Probably after they leave...

one of the kids is crying...I dont even know which one it is >__________<
this is going to be a long night. *sigh*

Some where inbetween the first time and the last time I loved you

So....Matt.
we may be getting back together
I dont know what to tell you other then, I saw it coming.
I'm not going to lie to you and say I dont want him back but i tell you one thing, this time will be very different. I need a nap so I will write more later!

I think even Maury isn't shocked, I know I'm not!

A while back I mention the toddler (he's 13 for the record) and his chick who managed to do what all my sex-ed teachers warned me about. Chantelle Stedman (who was "apparently" a 15yr old virgin at the time) got knocked up with baby alfie's baby. well according to the mirror in the UK said that our little Alfie is not actually the daddy. I guess that Chantelle wasn't a virgin after all. oh what a tangled web she weaved....anywho, they broke the piggy bank and came up with 300 pounds to get the test.

dear sweet baby alfie said this to the newspapers (hopefully they didn't interrupt his nap time...) Before he took the test, he said: “I didn’t know about DNA tests before but mum explained it’s when they do a swab in your mouth and it tells if you’re the dad. So if I have it, they can all shut up.” okay kid, If you dont know what a DNA test is you probably shouldn't be porking girls with your meat stick... I do like the fact that he loves the baby, there are alot of grown-up parents who hate their babies but nonetheless, perhaps this is a good lesson for the teens of UK land; Juno was just a movie, and that being a teen pregger isnt as glamours as perhaps we all pretend it is...

Don't hit kids! no seriously..they'll hit you back!

When did kids stop being kids and become UFC fighters? This little peice of gold is from a video posted on myspace (the down fall of society I tell you) from a girl fight in Jacksonville, Florida. Apparently, "There was no school staff there during that long period of time and I guess the most disappointing part was all this mob that gathered around, laughing about these bad manners and poor judgement," school board member Stan Jordan told First Coast News' Erich Spivey. If I was a teacher I wouldn't get in the middle of that, get my ass kicked by some 12 year kid? that would not be good for my street cred. None the less, this is just one of many little shit head kids kick the fuck out of each other. why? I have no idea. when I was in school we had maybe 2 or 3 fights, but they were always warrented. If you did something that deserved an ass beating you got an ass beating; however, we took it down the street on the school yeard of it's self. Granted there was no camera phones when I was in school. I still had the Save By the Bell shoulder strap deals when I got my first phone. But I feel like this thing is getting a little out of hand.

Why are kids so mad? As a social worker I want to say it's the parents fault. I want to say that they weren't hugged enough or maby dad wasn't there, mom works to much...but really, Parenting is hard shit! I was a handful but I wasn't even that bad...especally in relation to todays little assholes. It would be hard to handle these kids, especally when we've stopped beating our kids...but I wouldn't hit them now, they'd hit you back! I'm pretty sure red pants there is just looking for attention...I don't think she gets enough hugs. But lets be honest, If I was her mom I wouldn't hug her...she might kick me in the stomich.

Everyone has one why not you?

I'm talking about foreign babies. With the news that Madonna is getting her self a brand new black baby I've decdied that maybe we should all get one. Adopting kids from other countries is the new gucci bag, everyone wants one but only the really rich can have them. Don't get me wrong I'm all about adoption, anyone who wants to take care of kids that are in a bad situation is alright with me but these kids have been there all along, why now? why does only Bono care without having to drag the kids through the media and blood money that is hollywood?
This could completely only be me, but I would want to give that kid an education. hugs and a snack pack or two, but what happens to the rest of the town? what happens to his brothers or sisters? cousins? MOTHER? when does the colonialism stop? Sorry I'm just really bitter this morning. There will be a much happier post later...promis!

I need, I want..I will

I need to clean my room.
I need to finish my readings.
I need to wash my hair
I need to do my laundry
I need to buy shampoo
I need to sweap the floor
I need to start my paper
I need to clean my car
I need to get a life

I want to eat some ice cream
I want to watch the city
I want to go to the mall
I want to buy a new bag
I want to go back to sleep
I want to paint
I want to dye my hair
I want to paint my nails
I want to go to a party
I want to eat fancy food
I want a new cell phone
I want to get a life.

I will clean my room
I will wash the car...at some point
I will go back to sleep
I will paint my nails
I will start my paper...at some point
I will do my readings
I will get a life......maybe.

Take only what you need from me

I was on msn last night talking to Matt (the ex for anyone who doesnt know). He told me his dad was in the hospital. ICU to be exact. I want to say I was shocked but I really wasnt. His dad has been sick since I could remember, and this wasn't really surprising. I was sad for him, not as sad I probably would have been if I was still dating him; but sad none the less. I tried to be as supportive as I could. I like to think that we are still friends, at least I still treat him like a friend. Check in on him ever now and then, bug him about the girls he's been talking to lately. That sort of thing.

The really sad part is that he misses me. It's not sad because I'm oh so cool and want to think that I'm some super important or something, but it's sad because I miss him too. I'm not mad anymore, I could be..but I'm not. I really do want to be his friend, if that's possible. I mean seriously, is it even possible to be friends with an ex? I dont think feelings get in the way of that sort of thing..unless the break up was really really bad. And admittedly so, our break up wasn't at all mutual but I do understand where he was coming from, and I think we could probably be friends if he could manage to separate himself from what happened. I'd like to think I managed too.

Either way, I told him that if he wanted to we could go for coffee and talk. I want him to know that even though we aren't together anymore, I am still there for him. This could be a bad thing, but if one of my friends needed me I'd be there. And I dont think I should be any different to him. I guess I could be wrong.

This is what your grandpa does when you're not around...

I had an intence gag reflex for this...these guys take it off for charity..if you ask me putting it on would be the best form of charity... they are the forever young dancers! these hot prunes have their own site too http://foreveryoungdancers.com/, I think you should go. I think one of those guys might be my 5th grade gym teacher...*shudder*

I was cleaning out my closets and I found my ex...

I never really realized how much clothes I have, I think I could a different outfit ever day (that includes shoes) for like two months and not wear the same thing twice. that may even include changing for night wear. So i'm cleaning out my closets. But not really because I'm still keeping everything just moving it to a bin under my bed. I just bought a new groggy sweater, that's more like a fall jacket then anything else. It's so warm and was only 15$ from Winners...I love that store! It's like a cheap girls heaven!

I even like the colors. I have plenty of black sweaters, but none like that one. But then again, I would say something like that to justify me owning it.

These shoes I found again after not know where they were for almost two years, they were under my bed. Thing is I've never worn them. I bought them from H&M years ago and didn't like them as much as I did in the store by time I got them home. They are cute, just not really what I wanted. I bought them because they were on sale not because I actually planed on wearing them...which is probably why I have so much shit. I am going to give them to Raymi if she wants them. Or anyone else if they want them. They are a size 9...yes I have big feet. My friends aren't really hightop kind of people. I think they are so cute....just haven't worn them. and now I have a billion shoes and probabl will never wear them. which is sad.

I have a cardign addiction. that is the same style in three different colors. I think I should join a group. Cardigns Anonimous or something. "My name is Odett and I'm addicted to Cardigns." I think there's a shoppers anonimous...but I would miss all the meetings because I'd be to busy trying to buy an outfit that made me look like I was ready to stop shopping...

In other news my ex boyfriend (josh) sent me an email for my birthday, I may have mentioned it...or not. But we started talking again, and I told him I was single...which turn out to be not such a great idea. I figured since he lived far enough away that sort of information wouldn't really matter to him, apparently I was wrong. He told me he wanted to get back together and that he hasn't stopped thinking about since we broke up (5 years ago). Now I may or may not have changed much in that time, but I dont know if I would date him again. I mean there was a reason we broke up in the first place...but I dont want to say that I don't want to talk to him because I do, he's a good person to have as a friend...but I know he's a pretty alright boyfriend...yeah just alright. But in his defence, he could have changed his stubborn ways and would make an awsome boyfriend now....but I dont know...and I dont know if I want to find out. I've made my self a strict outline as to which guys I will date, and the main thing is they have to be busy! I don't like being bothered all day by text messages and phone calls. I have things to do and I would really like it if he did do. Josh has never really been the busy type. Anyway, that's it for now...maybe more later...

Busy as a fox...

York has decided to steal my pride. I dropped a class and have 6 take home exams due, now it would feel like it would be easier to do a take home exam...but no. Not when you live in Distraction-ville like I do. I couldn't do it in my room, as my room is a fuckin' pig sty, couldn't do it in my mom's room; her bed is to comfortable. so I sat in the hall on the wood floor and did it there...

I really need to get out of university....

13 year old father; What the fuck?

I decided to be more involved in shit. So, I'm going to do my best to get a good "what the fuck?" in at least once a week. So for what should be a wonderfully unlucky friday; I read this morning about a charming 13 year old boy and his 15 year old slag who just popped out a bundle of joy. The kids voice hasn't even broken yet!?I'm surprised his nads have even dropped far enough down to allow for baby-making juice! He can't even legally drive and yet somehow someone thought it was a good idea to tell him how to make babies...I say that 15 year old had alot of to do with it. My mother always warned me about girls like her...well she didn't really warn me but if she knew about it before hand she would have! I feel like that Juno movie will be blamed for this...which is ashame I liked that movie.
(picture from http://dlisted.com/) Now I failed Biology in grade 11 but Life Science was no different. How the fuck did that kid, he just barely makes 4 feet, gather up enough juice to make a baby? I can't even make waffles?! If you want to read all about this debocal you can go to the sun uk site: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2233878.ece; I don't know about you but I personally have an issue with it. I guess kids can have kids, biologically they seem to be quite able too... and who knows, that boy (cuz that's what he is) could be the worlds best father and get one of those cups with the big #1 on it and a macaroni tie! But just in case someone should keep child services on speed dial....

Dating for Dummies Pt2

So, saturday I went on a date with this guy named Migel; he was....Nice....kind of shy and had alot of really good qualities, there was really only one problem. He looked, acted and kind of smelled like my ex boyfriend. His hair, the way he lit his smoke, the way he eat (we went to brunch) the fact that he finds it okay to have a rum and coke before 5pm, all reminded me of Matt. Don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with drinking before 5, I mean it's 5o'clock some place, right? But in reality, if I wanted to date Matt again, I would. Which I don't...or at least I don't think I do. To tell you the truth I haven't really thought about it. As a matter of fact I do my best not to think about it at all.

A while back I went on a date with this guy..uh...Sebatian....he didnt work out. When we got there, mind you he took me to Pizza Hut which already made me kind of pissed as I'm lactose intolerant which I told him ahead of time, then when I get there (having decided to drive myself) He asks me who's going to pay...now I'm not to particular about who pays for what, I generally feel that if I wanted to pay for myself I would take myself to some place where I could eat the fucking food. He ended up paying, I had a salad. Now correct me if i'm wrong, and feel free to be honest with me, but if someone asks you out who pays? I mean I go on basic first date rules... Thee who asks Pays....If I asked him out then I would pay...seeing as how I didnt do that...I didnt feel I should have too.....was I wrong?


I think I'm just going to give up on dating all together...I'm just going to buy a cat and call it even. I'm waving the white flag on this one.

spandex groupie language for naked heavy people

I love fridge word magnets. I was at my friends house and was messing around with them...you cant's see all of them but I took pictures of some of them...the one that made me laugh the most was "spandex groupie language for naked heavy people" the word people got cut off in the picture, but I thought it was funny. I think everyone should have these things on their fridge; I mean really, why else do I go to see people if not to play with the amusing little nic-nacks they have on their fridges?!

We then spent 2 hours making home fries because I wanted fries and we didnt want to leave the house because it was sooooooo cold out. But in my defence they were fucking good and not as salty as McDonalds. So all in all i'd say it was good times....

yumm.

Selling souls to the fashion gods, my lord I have an addiction

I had a little time on my hands (as well as money) so I went to the mall, which was a bad move in it's self. I have a serious shopping addiction. I used to think it was just lack of will power for cheap stuff, but no. It is a full blown addiction. There is something wrong with me I swear! I was in winners, (again another poor choice of judgement) and I say this bag:

Unfortunatly, I already knew Winners had these bags. The first time I spotted it, it was 88$ or aleast that's what the tag said the winners price was 49.99$ which in my books is still to much for a bag! But as luck would have it, this day that I had money was the day that this bag was 26$. I resisted, if only for a short while, and made it back to my car before I gave in went back and bought it. I dont have anything that colour. But I'm sure I will have no issues carrying it regardless. It was agood price, but now i'm broke. I have a serious problem. Then I realized that I need to shoes for work just because I was tired of wearing my boots while i was there, and I found these:

In my defence they were only 5$! however, I ended up leaving without getting shoes to wear to work. So whatever small victory was gainned from these shows was lost at the fact that I have to wair till next week friday (pay day) till I can buy the shoes I want which may not be on sale by time I get there, or (like so many other things in my shopping life) may not come in my size.

I really need to stop spending. I'm going to see that movie Confessions of a shopaholic...I think I could really identify with the character.

...And then I remembered why I don't come to this class.

So, I'm sitting in my philosophy class with mixed feelings about being back. A part of me is quite glad to be back but another part of me is a little pissed off about having wasted 3 months sitting on my ass trying to teach myself shit I didnt know to begin with. I think York is that feeling you get just before you puke. That weird bitter taste in your mouth that forces you to spit and gag...yeah that right there...that's york. What makes it worse is that I paid for it. I paid my hard earned dollers to leave this place every day with the taste of bile in my mouth.

good times.


I'm just a little bitter right now. Perhaps there will be a happier post later...anything will be better then this...I need a coffee. >___<

hiho, hiho it's back to school I go

Well look at that, York has decided to let the rest of us back in.
It's going to be weird having to wake up on monday and go to class...and not even my winter semester class my fall semester class... we are all just going back to school like none of this shit ever happend. What the fuck? seriously? that's it? just like nothing ever fucking happend!? oh wait that's right there was a three month strike and I now have 3 ish months to finish a semester and a half.

Fuck you york.


Send your kids to Ryerson or something.

Karaoke was awsome!

I love karaoke! We went to XO by Christie station it was a blast, then we went out to a bar and I got drunk! I had alot of drinks and that's why there are no pictures from the club because I couldn't hold the camera lol...more later!

Tis my Birthday!!!

Yes I am 25! I dont feel any different, but I woke up quite grumpy. I dont know what the big deal is about birthdays. I seem to just be getting older and older, my facebook wall is covered with "happy birthday, have a great one" from people I dont even talk to anymore, But I guess it's all good. Anyways, I'm going to karaoke tonight, so there will be pictures!

I said hello, he said come on

Completely random! I was chatting with my friend Thuy who is currently in Miami (i'm very jealous!) about Andre, for anyone who doesn't remember him I met him at school and we became friends, and he's a really sweet guy. But he moved to Costa Rica to take care of his little adopted daugther (because he's super sweet like that XD) and he is one of my good friends! when we first started to talk I was with he who's name shall not be spoken, and so it would never happen as I thought my future was already planed out.
But as it would turn out Andre is in canada! He's here just for the week (he goes back on sunday) so I get to spend a few days with him and hang out! Which will be cool as he is alot of fun to hang out with! However, I am very single...as is he... but he doesnt know i'm single...So i'm stuck in a spot where I need to decided wether or not I tell him i'm single and wouldn't mind hanging out with him when he's here....who knows! There will be pictures!!!

Datings for Dummies

So, I have a date tonight...I know, it really has only been a month since the breakup but I have always been told that it's not good to dwell on the past so I guess it was about time?! But I have been thinking about it alot...I don't really remember how to flirt, I mean after a 4 year relationship I didn't have to be flirty...I'm just going to be as open as possible..I still have some of those dating woes though..... Who knows...I'm not going to far from my house so if anything I can leave on a 'family emergency' whenever I feel like I need to get away...

Wish me luck...I may need it.

Let old aquaintence be forgot and never brought to mind

Happy new years friends!
I guess I should enter this new year with some sort of optimism about how great it's going to be, but i did that last year and it didnt really make the whole year any better. So i figure this year i'm just going in thinking that it wont suck. I'm going in with very low expectations so that if i get disappointed then i wont be so upset! lol...i know that doesnt sound like such a great out look on the coming year but I dont really plan to work any less then I was before, i will still work hard. I just wont expect things to be spectacular. I will write more tomorrow...I have a bunch of things to say but for I am just to tired.