Speaking of awkward....

So for anyone who has missed the last few months of my life (which is most of you) here is the quick rund down...in point form:

finished things with matt for good this time! there is no going back now!
met some new friends (guy friends)
started this strange non-relationship with one of the new guy friends
might actually like him...but for all the wrong reasons

and as sad as it may seem that's pretty much it.

So me and this guy, we will call him Dean just because I always like dean from Gilmore Girls...and yes i did like that show! anyway, Dean and I seem to have a really sexual relationship thing going on and neither of us are commited to each other but it's like this side action, where we can still hit on other people but we only sleep with each other (or so we say) for now. And when we dont want to do that anymore we give the heads up and go our seperate ways...

I 'like' him because he reminds me of Josh (for anyone who actually follows crazy rambles) my ex boyfriend and he also reminds me of Matt a little, But the good parts about matt not that grose talk and eat with your mouth open thing he does *shudder*... which isn't really a good thing for all the reasons i'm sure you could think of....

Now, I already see the flaw in this whole plan, and slowly this whole shit is unfurling. I dont think he likes me like that completely, but he likes to stair at me alot and i dont know why....and I really like him, kind of like the way I really like The yeah yeah yeah's.....I could listen to him speak all day long cuz he's funny, but I feel a little cheated by my own hand in this. I feel like i'm wasting my time with him but at the same time, I finally have my own time again to waste.
Even though I'm highly suspect that nothing will ever come of this....is it still okay to pretend?